If you're one of those rare people who like to check back on blogs, you're probably screaming with joy to finally see a new post!
I must apologise, I haven’t been too regular with my postings. But I'll just get straight to the point. Things haven’t been all fun and games in the last 2-3 months. I've been going through pretty much a lot lately and it has taken its toll on me. With no one to talk to about the stuff that’s been happening, I only thought that the next best thing to do, would be to talk to the world about it and just get it off my chest.
But it's really hard to let go of something you've worked so hard to get. You know you've given up a lot and you will probably give more because you're in love. But love is a very funny emotion. Well, I don’t know if it’s an emotion or an inexplicable loss of one's existence. A loss in that this existence takes on a whole new shape and purifies the older one.
But sometimes, it’s just not meant to be. Sometimes life is not meant to be. That’s what I thought when I saw this picture of a premature baby on some TV show. Sometimes love is not meant to be. And sometimes, you just have to pick up the pieces and carried on, only to fall down again and have them broken into smaller pieces - harder to put back together.
Well, she's ready to break my heart. No stranger to that, I am. A few months from now, I know I’m going to read this and think how gay this whole post is, but right now I don’t care. Someone will read this. It's not common for a gamer to talk about this, but I am still young :-).
Yeah....she's going to break my heart. I know what’s coming towards me and I’m preparing myself for it. But how do you prepare yourself for an 18 wheeler to come and hit you at over 150 m/ph? You can’t. So I’ll do the only thing I can. Take it like a man.
So here's something I wrote early this month when I was talking to myself. Think it pretty much explains the story....and how it's going to end. (This "conversation" is between my notebook and me)
My heart is broken, I must confess to you
you’re the only one who knows my secrets
A beautiful vision of love and life I had
But I see all that, fading away.
We shared our dreams and we built our castles
On great white clouds, between the rainbow
But those clouds are getting thin now.
It seems that my dream is coming to an end - again.
She is beauty in my life,
But she has her own too.
I know I must not hold her back,
from what she needs to do.
But this is not easy -
My heart is weak, and my love is strong
I will hold on, for as long as I can
It doesn't look good, my paper friend
I can almost clearly see the end
But maybe I’m just letting my heart cry,
God knows, without her, it'd die.
And without her, it will be a sad existence indeed,
The body may laugh, but the spirit will be torn apart
I cant live with you, I cant live without you.
I know this is not your fault,
Whatever happens, will happen for us.
But try to follow my heart, just once!
I'm not stealing your life from you babe,
I want to share it with you, forever.
Why do you think that I’d take away all that was precious to you?
If you loved me, you'd give it to me anyways.
Thats my crushed spirit. Thanks for reading this, people. Stay safe. Damn....I'm not going to listen to any Whitesnake songs!!
4 comments:
Reggie, me love
well, i am not the right person to be advising you on this. But here is one thing that come to my mind when i read this blog.
You are right to let her go....coz you cannot bind love. Set it free and if it comes back to you, its yours forever.
Pain, I think is a part of love. the reason pain comes with love is coz it makes on realise its true value. And its also one of the reasons i stay away from it!!
(heheheheheheheheh)
take care honey. that is all i am worried about. Life is long and holds many surprises. One is surely out there for you too.
Another thing. In your pain, remember the ones who love you dearly coz they can see and feel your tears. Talk to them, It helps both.
Lots of love
Joe
These are pretty tough times but I am sure you can face whatever fate decides to throw at you. Heartbreak is painful... I have seen it happen with my closest friends and I could almost feel their pain. When I read this post of your's, it was the same stabbing pain.
I don't know anything that has happened so giving you any advice would be the most foolish things to do. However, even if we haven't met, I still consider you a very good friend of mine and I can just pray that He gives you the will to face it, to the end, to whatever the outcome will be, for the better or for the worse.
I don't know whether you know me...if you did you may remember me as The_One from Skoar!
Hey Reg
wherever u r just want to tell u that u are not the only one who is going thru this a lot of ppl have but love is worth all this believe me it is. Speaking out of personal experience, have been royally dumped myself, was crazily in love with him, had a 4 yr relationship, and then my mr right decided that i wasnt right for him, left me high & dry, it has been about a year now, but nothing has changed and despite being dumped i still love him and have come to realize that I have no right to hold someone who is not happy with me, that person has a right to happiness jus like i have and if they wanna move on its better for the relationship, no point being with someone who doesnt really give a damn if ur there or not.The bitterness the poison goes away with time.And believe me whatever is meant to be will be que sera sera.
Tak care
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