If you're one of those rare people who like to check back on blogs, you're probably screaming with joy to finally see a new post!
I must apologise, I haven’t been too regular with my postings. But I'll just get straight to the point. Things haven’t been all fun and games in the last 2-3 months. I've been going through pretty much a lot lately and it has taken its toll on me. With no one to talk to about the stuff that’s been happening, I only thought that the next best thing to do, would be to talk to the world about it and just get it off my chest.
But it's really hard to let go of something you've worked so hard to get. You know you've given up a lot and you will probably give more because you're in love. But love is a very funny emotion. Well, I don’t know if it’s an emotion or an inexplicable loss of one's existence. A loss in that this existence takes on a whole new shape and purifies the older one.
But sometimes, it’s just not meant to be. Sometimes life is not meant to be. That’s what I thought when I saw this picture of a premature baby on some TV show. Sometimes love is not meant to be. And sometimes, you just have to pick up the pieces and carried on, only to fall down again and have them broken into smaller pieces - harder to put back together.
Well, she's ready to break my heart. No stranger to that, I am. A few months from now, I know I’m going to read this and think how gay this whole post is, but right now I don’t care. Someone will read this. It's not common for a gamer to talk about this, but I am still young :-).
Yeah....she's going to break my heart. I know what’s coming towards me and I’m preparing myself for it. But how do you prepare yourself for an 18 wheeler to come and hit you at over 150 m/ph? You can’t. So I’ll do the only thing I can. Take it like a man.
So here's something I wrote early this month when I was talking to myself. Think it pretty much explains the story....and how it's going to end. (This "conversation" is between my notebook and me)
My heart is broken, I must confess to you
you’re the only one who knows my secrets
A beautiful vision of love and life I had
But I see all that, fading away.
We shared our dreams and we built our castles
On great white clouds, between the rainbow
But those clouds are getting thin now.
It seems that my dream is coming to an end - again.
She is beauty in my life,
But she has her own too.
I know I must not hold her back,
from what she needs to do.
But this is not easy -
My heart is weak, and my love is strong
I will hold on, for as long as I can
It doesn't look good, my paper friend
I can almost clearly see the end
But maybe I’m just letting my heart cry,
God knows, without her, it'd die.
And without her, it will be a sad existence indeed,
The body may laugh, but the spirit will be torn apart
I cant live with you, I cant live without you.
I know this is not your fault,
Whatever happens, will happen for us.
But try to follow my heart, just once!
I'm not stealing your life from you babe,
I want to share it with you, forever.
Why do you think that I’d take away all that was precious to you?
If you loved me, you'd give it to me anyways.
Thats my crushed spirit. Thanks for reading this, people. Stay safe. Damn....I'm not going to listen to any Whitesnake songs!!
