Saturday, December 31, 2005
Ground Zero revisited.
I guess it's just fair to post today, especially since its the last day of a wonderful year gone by. Time to reflect:
1 - My X-box was bought in Feb this year. I have since bought 75 titles for the X-Box. Man thats alot of money - now that i think back :-)
2 - I bought a PSP (Play Station Portable)
3 - I was madly in love with a woman who threw it all away.
4 - I have my own blog and people know me!
5 - My blog is the first listing on Google if you type my name in quotes (thereby forcing an exact match)
6 - My grandmum passed away in November. God bless her soul. She was a lovely woman and a WW II veteran.
7 - I've found someone new. I guess thats where the term "New and Improved" comes from after all!
So as you can see, there's obviously quite alot thats happend with me this year. From almost getting married to almost buying a ticket for 18000 rupees to go to Bombay to see the Skoar! gaming expo. But in the end its all worked out well...i guess. I mean im not complaining about whats happened. In fact, whatever's happened has led to something better happening to me. Like buying the PSP, resulted in me buying Burnout Legends!
Just a few words for the people who have made this year so special for me. I know you may never get to read this - but still, you've been great influences this year and i'll never forget you.
1 - Mom & Dad and my brother. For all the obvious and not so obvious reasons. You guys are amazing people and i am what i am because of what you've taught us kids. Brother - you've been the mmost amazing dude i've ever known. I hope your new band is much better than the older dickheads you were playing with.
2 - Anu. You loved me while you did and then just let go of me. I cant say that the time with you was horrible, but you've left a bitter taste in my mouth. Thanks for the wonderful times I spent with you. But i've moved on now.
3 - Krishnan. Dude! How can i not include you in this list!? You've been a great buddy and a great inspiration for a fellow gamer. Just so you know - at the time of writing this, i'm playing POP:TTT. I've reached the part where Farah finds out im the Sand Wraith/Dark Prince. And the harem bitch-boss was just too much fun! Thanks for being a great friend and talking to me when things were'nt going well for me.
4 - Nitin, Vivek & Pradeep. Guys, you 3 are the best gang I could ever ask for. All those beer sessions and wild Burnout sessions were the best part of this year.
5 - Saved the best for last. Arti. Thank you for being there for me. Thank you for pulling me out of the shit-hole i'd driven myself into. Thank you for those wild fights in and out of office. And thank you for being who you are. You're a mirror image of me and you mean alot. More than you could think. More than i could imagine.
I love you guys!!!
Oh - did I mention? I beat Half Life 2 on the X-Box last week. What an amazing game this one is! Though I was a bit disappointed with the ending, but what the hell...it made for interesting gameplay and a good sequel/conclusion?!
So thats about it I guess. Cant think of anything else right now. But when I do, it'll be here!
Happy new year!!!
Sunday, November 13, 2005
The poison needs to be drained out.
Yet another day has dawned
The heart who loved you has died
Your stabbing knives have ripped it apart,
With every time you lied.
In the darkest, deepest recesses of my mind
I see your face that hates and lies
It sees me holding out my had to you,
Then it pulls me to my demise.
Looking down at my life
I see what I tried to do right.
I walked with you when you wanted me to
Before you changed shape, and left me in eternal blight.
I hope with all that’s in me,
That you suffer, after giving me this mind-fuck.
You’ll try to save yourself babe,
But soon, you WILL run out of luck.
Escaping back into my nightmares
I step up to see the hourglass fill.
It’s only a matter of time.
Memories of me will always stay with you,
And soon, they will step in for the kill.
Monday, November 07, 2005
From the ashes.
But what's also been on my mind alot (less) now is where I was in my last post.
Lets see:
1.Sorry-ass attitude disposed - CHECK
2.Denial gone - CHECK
3.Am I happier now - HELL YEAH!
I guess that´s all i need to ask myself at this stage. Hell! I´m having fun blasting away digital manifestations of evil and suffering!
But anyway - this post is not for me. It´s for a great friend whose probably been through worse and who I fear, is still going through a very hard time. She´s helped me in my darkest hour and here´s my small way of saying Thank you to her.
So here´s a little something I´ve written for this friend. I hope she reads it and it helps in some way:
Phasers can be set to frag
Phasers can be set to stun
4 years later, ´tis sadness you have
but you also had 4 years of fun.
The times you had have taught you well
Good from bad is now easier to tell
So what if Mr Right is not the one for you?
At least the next time he´s around, you can tell him from his smell!
And yes, real wounds are hard to heal
but worse are the ones you cant touch, but can feel.
You helped me out in my time of need,
The truths I always knew, were then revealed.
Try not to burrow too deep,
It will get lonely and it will get dark,
Just imagine how boring it would be
To be a silly jelly-fish when you could be a shark!
You´ve always got friends and you´ve always got me
A friend that can tell you all about video-game history
I´ll send you a latest office photo,
Mario was created by Shigeru Miyamoto.
Private! Your mission objectives are as below:
Say Good Bye! to what's gone and learn to say Hello!
Remember - Anna Nicole Smith has bigger tits
But Gwyneth Paltrow has more hits.
So finally buddy, and you´re a good one too
here are the final words I have to say to you
Chocolates wont make you sweet, just fatter
Let life and its endless atrocities not make you bitter, but always better.
(Say that 10 times and you will magically be transformed into a mouse pad!)
AA - this one´s for you. I can´t say I understand how you feel, but I sure can imagine. I know its not easy. But in the end I can only tell you what you told me - Do what makes you happy. Take a stand for yourself. Take your decision on what you feel is best for YOU. Life will tell you if it was a good or bad decision and you´ll need to live with that. I´ve taken a decision and i´m happy. Don´t let someone else decide what you need to do with your life.
Speak to the friends you´ve missed since last you spoke to them. Do stuff that you´ve wanted to do. Go on! You´ve got your license to thrill!! :)
You´re a great person.
In other related news, I am just so freakin´ pissed off! I was playing ¨The Suffering¨ and the whole bloody game froze when I got past the cemetery after beating the Infernas! Shit! It´s thrown me an hour back into the game and now I have to go through the Single Bullet Theory level all over again! WTF!
Also, can anyone please tell me how to perform a Multality in Mortal Kombat: Shaolin Monks?! Damn...I´m at the Evil Monastary but my skill meter is´nt filling :-(. Aah nevermind....i´ll get it soon!
Finally - here are some handy tips on how to get back at a woman who asks you out to coffee and then starts yappin´ on her phone and then calls her friend:
1.Call your friends and tell them to join you. Make sure that you outnumber her AND her friend by at least 2X. Works like a CHARM if all of them are of the opposite sex.
2.Turn your back towards her and talk to your friends
3.Buy a sandwich that's big enough to be eaten in 30 minutes and talk while chewing. (I dunno - women just hate that!)
4.Make fun of her friends job. This particular friend is a Voice trainer with IBM and I actually told her that the IBM guys need to work alot on being remotely close to comprehendable
5.Stare at her phone. Works as a double whammy if she´s sitting across you, uses a hands-free kit (in a coffe restaurant!!!?!) and has the phone on the table! Mmmmmm....nice....phones...I mean phone! Gofigure!
6.Tell her you´re having fun. Then say bye 5 minutes later and walk out with your friends.
Oh joy.....
Thursday, September 29, 2005
Confessions of a broken heart! (Sounds like soft pr0n)
If you're one of those rare people who like to check back on blogs, you're probably screaming with joy to finally see a new post!
I must apologise, I haven’t been too regular with my postings. But I'll just get straight to the point. Things haven’t been all fun and games in the last 2-3 months. I've been going through pretty much a lot lately and it has taken its toll on me. With no one to talk to about the stuff that’s been happening, I only thought that the next best thing to do, would be to talk to the world about it and just get it off my chest.
But it's really hard to let go of something you've worked so hard to get. You know you've given up a lot and you will probably give more because you're in love. But love is a very funny emotion. Well, I don’t know if it’s an emotion or an inexplicable loss of one's existence. A loss in that this existence takes on a whole new shape and purifies the older one.
But sometimes, it’s just not meant to be. Sometimes life is not meant to be. That’s what I thought when I saw this picture of a premature baby on some TV show. Sometimes love is not meant to be. And sometimes, you just have to pick up the pieces and carried on, only to fall down again and have them broken into smaller pieces - harder to put back together.
Well, she's ready to break my heart. No stranger to that, I am. A few months from now, I know I’m going to read this and think how gay this whole post is, but right now I don’t care. Someone will read this. It's not common for a gamer to talk about this, but I am still young :-).
Yeah....she's going to break my heart. I know what’s coming towards me and I’m preparing myself for it. But how do you prepare yourself for an 18 wheeler to come and hit you at over 150 m/ph? You can’t. So I’ll do the only thing I can. Take it like a man.
So here's something I wrote early this month when I was talking to myself. Think it pretty much explains the story....and how it's going to end. (This "conversation" is between my notebook and me)
My heart is broken, I must confess to you
you’re the only one who knows my secrets
A beautiful vision of love and life I had
But I see all that, fading away.
We shared our dreams and we built our castles
On great white clouds, between the rainbow
But those clouds are getting thin now.
It seems that my dream is coming to an end - again.
She is beauty in my life,
But she has her own too.
I know I must not hold her back,
from what she needs to do.
But this is not easy -
My heart is weak, and my love is strong
I will hold on, for as long as I can
It doesn't look good, my paper friend
I can almost clearly see the end
But maybe I’m just letting my heart cry,
God knows, without her, it'd die.
And without her, it will be a sad existence indeed,
The body may laugh, but the spirit will be torn apart
I cant live with you, I cant live without you.
I know this is not your fault,
Whatever happens, will happen for us.
But try to follow my heart, just once!
I'm not stealing your life from you babe,
I want to share it with you, forever.
Why do you think that I’d take away all that was precious to you?
If you loved me, you'd give it to me anyways.
Thats my crushed spirit. Thanks for reading this, people. Stay safe. Damn....I'm not going to listen to any Whitesnake songs!!
Friday, July 22, 2005
To think or not to think - why is that a question?
Each path offers me alternatives and different approaches to the same ¨problem¨ or situation. What made me think of this? Well...lets just say the discussion was enlightening until it turned into a debate. And no one likes debates because as with all conflicts, there can be only one outcome - someone loses.
So what is abstract thinking? According to http://www.answers.com it is ¨Thinking characterized by the ability to use concepts and to make and understand generalizations, such as of the properties or pattern shared by a variety of specific items or events.¨ In philosophical terminology abstraction is the thought process wherein ideas are distanced from objects.
Objective thinking is ¨The expression "objective thinking" (or alternatively, neo-objectivism) designates a mode of reasoning which is based on and modelled by the notions of objective reality (reality is exterior to our minds) and reason (knowledge must be based on objective evidence - on methods which seek outward, not inward).¨ - http://www.objectivethought.com/objectivethinking.html
Now I am by no far stretch of then imagination a philosopher - heck, for a long time I though Socrates was a kiddie word for scrotum! But thankfully, I´ve played enough video games and been stung by enough wasps to tell what is good for me and what isn't.
So lets get to the point. I am forced to understand which thinking school do I come from? Abstract or Objective. After the debate it was quite clear that I was from the latter. And I can see why. I am questioning my own thinking at 3 AM! I cant generalize. I cant relate to anything that does not fit in the real world. I cannot reason with someone who thinks in an abstract direction. I question what I think needs to be questioned and I cant go forward unless I know what's ahead. Severely limiting - but not without its perks.
Now - this brings an interesting thought to my mind. A person who thinks abstract sees grey! Objective does not. It only sees black and white. There is no ¨ummm...OK¨. Its either right or wrong, left or right, good or bad. Black or White (what an amazing game). If you're a Matrix fan, then this fits, because choice is only an illusion. The grey here probably represents choice. ¨You can choose to make it real.¨ But what if its not supposed to be real? See how confusing this is? That question in itself represents a grey zone! And therefore I'm typing at 3 AM.
So an abstract thinker thinks of endless possibilities - practical or impractical. But so does the other guy - except that the objective dude prefers to stick with the practical or real world outcome. I think its called selection by elimination. So who wins this debate. Well...according to me, the objective thinker. Here's why :
- You can believe in aliens
- You don't follow your heart - you follow reason (Go Bender B Rodriguez! Go!)
Arrogant as this may sound, it seems to me as the most suitable approach to thinking. Why would I want to think that if I flipped a coin it would land perpendicular and not parallel? That's abstract. Why would I want to think that my heart tells me it will, it will? That's subjective. I will however think that it is not possible for a coin to land perpendicular because physics will never allow it in the real world. If the coin is spinning parallel to the surface its supposed to land on, then once it hits that surface the potential and kinetic energy gained will force it to fall flat on its face! Heads or tails - that's objective thinking. (I am no physicist either).
So it all really boils down to this - objective is the way i´m going. Because the way I see it, abstract = random and baseless while objective = true or false.
In short : "I could be wrong - but as long as I use reason, and unless you prove otherwise, or I find that I am wrong, I must start from the premise that I am right". And that's the statement that turned a great discussion into a debate.
I suggest you do NOT use this as a pick-up line.
Monday, July 11, 2005
Flies taste like chocolate ice cream!!
I'd like to share with you nice people some photo's from my recent trip to Bangalore. As you would have read in the last post, it was quite a good trip in terms of gadget-acquisition and gaming overkill. It was also good because Anu(I) got a (another) computer! >-) (heh heh heh). But it did bring up something really horrendous! Enoonmai will not be at the forums for a while. Why? Because the big bad spider, a.k.a Arachnid at him up! Gobbled him up like the chunky meatball that he is. Here's some pictures. I didnt want to put up a "Viewer discretion is advised" warning (God knows how any under 18's will ever come here!!)...but still Better be safe than 'worry'. So i'll just give you a before/in between/after show.
1 - "Welcome to my parlor" said the spider to the fly. Notice the look of bewilderment on this fly's face and the devious grin on the spiders. The poison-breath works!


3 - The big fly is half eaten!!! YAAAAAAGHHHHHHHHH.....

4 - Ahhhh! That was one Yummy Fly!!! Just the way Grampa used to make 'em!

Friday, July 08, 2005
Great distances, great deals, great friends and a great time!
Q : So what does all of the above have in common?
A : The word "great"!
Yeah. I know it wasnt that good, but hey, it was worth a shot J
This post is about my trip to
Here’s a brief summary of what happened, what I did, what I bought most importantly what I learnt.
I reached
Once I got there, I got into an auto-rickshaw probably the ONLY slow auto I’ve ever been in. This guy was seriously in his senses because he drove like a human being not like the super-charged adrenalin junkies in
So the 4 of us, Krishnan, Pradeep, Anu and me, raided Pizza Hut and ate till we almost exploded. Of course, for me, it was just an afternoon snack. Something to keep me charged for about 3 hours. Once we were through with that, we headed off to
With the computer ready, we bought the OS, some games and a some other essentials – MORE GAMES J.
We then decided to send Anu home with the computer while we fished around for other useful software. By the time we returned, this WonderWoman™ had actually managed to procure a computer table as well! Darn! In less time than it took for us to decide what parts we needed to buy! We set up everything and pushed the power-on button with gleeful eyes and blistering excitement. Kaput! Nothing happened. No nice glowing LED’s no hum of the CPU fan – nothing! That’s when Krishnan slapped me on the head and told me to check if the SMPS switch was on! Sheepish grin. Gave her another spin and our monster was ready!
That was a very fruitful day. Anu and I celebrated later in the evening at a nice restaurant and some really nice vodka later at home.
The next day we decided to meet Krishnan again and the guy was a gem to offer to come home first AND bring us lunch! Little did I know, he wanted to show off his uber-cool MP3 player! We also struck a deal for his old GBA SP, which I bought from him. After a little more tinkering with the PC, we went out and did some more useless stuff. Took Anu out to dinner that night too.
Day 3. My trip was coming to its end. Krishnan and I suffer from acute short term memories. But that’s strange because I still remember what’s probably the most difficult cheat code of all time. The NOCLIP cheat for Doom. It’s IDSPISPOPD! See! I still remember! Anyways, once we were sure we had everything installed and in place, we went out on our game buying adventures. We picked up a few games for the PC, GBA SP and a few for the PS2. Very refreshing indeed. Later Anu, her friend, Krishnan and I went to a nice Chinese restaurant and had some nice and some not-so-nice stuff. I was happy coz hey, I live to eat! Later, when everyone was ready to leave, we almost had another incident when Krishnan forgot to take his PS2 from me and got into an auto to go home! LOL! That was too funny!
My trip was almost at an end. Anu was playing Fatman adventures on her new PC while I was enjoying Super Mario Bros 3 on my new SP! All the while wondering where had all the time gone to. Why’d it have to end so soon? Why does a Monday (sorry CipherJ) seem like an eternity but the great times you’re having seem like a nano-second? But I guess that’s the way it works.
Sunday evening I flew out of
Anu was happy. My trip to
But what I really learnt from this trip was :
- Friendship knows no distance
- Great deals can get you great happiness
- 3 days can feel like 3 seconds
- 3 days can feel like 3 lifetimes
- A woman’s smile can make seem running to the moon and back like a jog in the park
- Pradeep is very shy in reality
- Krishnan is a gem of a friend.
- Futurama is better than The Simpsons.
That’s all for now dear reader. I hope I haven’t bored you too much. You’re lucky I haven’t shown you holiday videos yet J.
It’s true - Great distances, great deals, great friends and a great time! You can have them all at once!
Thursday, June 09, 2005
Does this need a title?
Well after all, Pickering, I'm an ordinary man,
Who desires nothing more than an ordinary chance,
to live exactly as he likes, and do precisely what he wants...
An average man am I, of no eccentric whim,
Who likes to live his life, free of strife,
doing whatever he thinks is best, for him,
Well... just an ordinary man...
BUT, Let a woman in your life and your serenity is through,
she'll redecorate your home, from the cellar to the dome,
and then go on to the enthralling fun of overhauling you...
Let a woman in your life, and you're up against a wall,
make a plan and you will find,
that she has something else in mind,
and so rather than do either you do something else
that neither likes at all You want to talk of Keats and Milton,
she only wants to talk of love,
You go to see a play or ballet, and spend it searching
for her glove, Let a woman in your life
and you invite eternal strife,
Let them buy their wedding bands for those anxious little hands...
I'd be equally as willing for a dentist to be drilling
than to ever let a woman in my life, I'm a very gentle man,
even tempered and good natured
who you never hear complain,
Who has the milk of human kindness
by the quart in every vein,
A patient man am I, down to my fingertips,
the sort who never could, ever would,
let an insulting remark escape his lips
Very gentle man...
But, Let a woman in your life,
and patience hasn't got a chance,
she will beg you for advice, your reply will be concise,
and she will listen very nicely, and then go out
and do exactly what she wants!!!
You are a man of grace and polish,
who never spoke above a hush,
all at once you're using language that would make
a sailor blush, Let a woman in your life,
and you're plunging in a knife,
Let the others of my sex, tie the knot around their necks,
I prefer a new edition of the Spanish Inquisition
than to ever let a woman in my life I'm a quiet living man,
who prefers to spend the evening in the silence of his room,
who likes an atmosphere as restful as
an undiscovered tomb,
A pensive man am I, of philosophical joys,
who likes to meditate, contemplate,
far for humanities mad inhuman noise,
Quiet living man....
But, let a woman in your life, and your sabbatical is through,
in a line that never ends comes an army of her friends,
come to jabber and to chatter
and to tell her what the matter is with YOU!,
she'll have a booming boisterous family,
who will descend on you en mass,
she'll have a large wagnarian mother,
with a voice that shatters glass,
Let a woman in your life,
Let a woman in your life,
Let a woman in your life I shall never let a woman in my life.
Too late for that, but she is a wonderful woman and this post is fer her :-)
The carpenter and his tools
Perhaps i do need to review the tools i've used. See what i've done wrong and try to make them right.
Thank you for the feedback guys, and especially you Joey :-). You're always looking out for me arent you?
After taking some time off from my ranting, I thought about where I was and where i'd like to be. Sure i've missed a few things on the way and if you dont buy the ticket, you will be thrown off the train!
Feedback taken guys.
Now see, that probably serves as a good lesson for all of those reading this. What seems to makes sense, might be total non-sense! I guess thats the way stuff usually works. I'm off to review my tools and make a coffin that fits me perfectly :-)
LOL! Talk about thinking out of the box! (if you'll excuse the pun)
Monday, June 06, 2005
How can a Monday be good?
Well...see...I learnt something very important today. That it is right to hate Monday. Thats why it was invented and the concept of liking Monday is fundamentally flawed. It's as unnatural as flying pigs. So - the big question here is "How can Monday be good?"
It started as a typical Monday. Got to work early so that I could get a headstart with the stuff i need to do for the day/week/months ahead. There's alot of big changes happening and with all of these changes happening its important to stay on top of everything. Since you'd normally have the weekend to get drunk or just spend some time with your better half - in my case the PC or the X-Box, it's just fair that God punishes you by making you go back on Monday. But when I started my stuff today, I was pretty happy to know that the stuff I would struggle to get out on a normal day, came to me with surprising ease on a Monday. It's a strange phenomena really, but it works. Allow me to enumerate how:
- Monday work is usually fresh work. So you're not chasing your tail.
- Monday allows you to plan for the week ahead and i've learnt the hard way - that failing to plan is planning to fail.
- Try this. Set up a feedback session with your boss on a Monday. Chances are that you'll get put in your place in such a dignified way that you'll just want to curl up and die in a corner. But if you tell yourself that you've got to prove the boss wrong, you will go out of your way and be twice as productive to do so.
No...but honestly, 06/06/05 - Monday, could well be the turning point in my life. I know that i've learnt some valuable lessons this Monday.
- The boss is always right
- You're damned if you do and you're damned if you dont
- If your boss has it in for you, nothing can save you
- If you try to please your boss, you will fail
- If you piss your boss off - you will die
- If you die, your boss will not be happy and will drag you out of the grave to finish what you started.
- You will never see heaven.
- You've already gotten a taste of hell, so the afterlife and the underworld will not be something new.
Answer - it can't.
How could it? I tried looking for answers and I couldnt find any. So I tried making them up and look what came up!
Before I sign off for tonight, i'd like you to ponder on this - If God, being who he was with all that power and magic stuff and wisdom couldnt not make the world on a Monday, how can the lesser mortals do so? I mean, She/He is GOD afterall! She/He could have just made everything on Monday and we could have had a 6 day weekend!
But like I said - If the boss has it in for you, try as hard as you may, you're screwed.
Thats all folks. It's Tuesday tomorrow and i've got to go finish what I started.
Saturday, June 04, 2005
So this is where it all started...
My name is Reginald and I'm from India.
Thank you for taking the time to visit my blog. You've probably been too bored, or you're someone I know or you're just looking for something different. Either ways, I hope what I write here can be of some consequence.
I know it has to me. As I type, i'm thinking back to the time when an online presence meant having an email account. I quite distinctly remember the first email account i created - at Rocketmail.com, which was later bought by software biggie MicroSoft. I later graduated to making my presence stronger when I discovered my first IM client! Talking to a stranger across the globe sure felt good and when you're young, all you want to do is "learn" about different people, their cultures, their lifestyles. Over time though, I learnt that it's easier to stick to the Discovery channel or National Geographic.
Having a website was quite obviously the next step and so off I went to create my first website. I cant remember the URL now but it was all about video games. If I did create a site now, it'd still be about video games. This passion led me to sign up on a few forums where gamers could meet and I started with www.skoar.com/forums and have stayed their since. Online presence made with extreme predjudice!
While the pitfalls of an online presence have reared their ugly faces quite often in the news, it's very satisfying when you actually see something good come from it. Quite like a Pandora's box, except that this is no story. This online presence has brought me into contact with some serious gamers and non-gamers and i've probably made friends for life. I've also learnt alot of things that they'd never show on the Discover channel :-). A highly satisfying experience even though this is the kind of stuff my other friends just dont get.
So here's my next step. I'm out to try something new. Learn something new. Meet new people. Get more ideas and hopefully die a happy man.
You still here? OK...welcome to my blog. It's called Randomization because life and your thoughts can never be themed. How could it be? If it were, it'd be perfect. Irony or coincidence? Who knows? But what I do know, is that Randomization, is here to stay.